Father's Day has a way of looking very simple from the outside. Cards for Dad, breakfast in bed, new socks, barbecues, photos of fathers and their children filling our feeds. But just like Mother's Day, Father's Day isn't one emotion, and it isn't one story.
For some people, it's one of the happiest days of the year, a chance to celebrate a dad they adore and remind him just how much he means to them. For others, it's complicated.
There are people approaching Father's Day without their dad here anymore. People who desperately wanted to become fathers and haven't been able to. Fathers who have lost children. Men who are dads, but for one reason or another don't have the relationship with their children they wish they did. There are people whose relationship with their father is difficult, distant or fractured, people who love their dad and still carry hurt from him, and people who found the kind of support they needed from a man who wasn't their father at all.
An uncle, grandfather, stepdad, brother, friend, teacher, coach or mentor can sometimes become the person who steps into the places we thought only a father could fill.
There are so many stories sitting quietly behind this one day, and I think there should be room for all of them.
Father's Day can hold more than one thing
My own relationship with Father's Day is different to Mother's Day. I've written openly about losing my mum to suicide and about the complexity Mother's Day holds for me. My relationship with my dad is a story I hold more privately, because it isn't only my story to tell.
But perhaps that has taught me something too.
Relationships can be complicated and still contain love. We can be grateful for someone and acknowledge that things haven't always been easy. We can celebrate what someone has given us without pretending everything has been perfect. And sometimes the most meaningful relationships in our lives don't fit neatly into the titles we give them.
Father's Day doesn't have to be about celebrating a perfect father. Maybe it can simply be an opportunity to acknowledge the good men who have chosen to stand beside us.
For the men who show up
I've been thinking a lot lately about the men in our lives who simply keep showing up. The ones who celebrate with us when life is good and stand beside us when it isn't. The ones who provide strength when ours feels a little harder to find. The ones who quietly take responsibility, protect, provide, teach, encourage and carry things we perhaps don't always notice.
Not every one of those men is a father, and not every father does those things perfectly. But I think Father's Day gives us an opportunity to notice the men who do.
It might be the uncle who became a safe place, the coach who saw something in you before you saw it in yourself, the teacher who changed the direction of your life, the grandfather whose wisdom still shapes the way you live, the stepdad who chose to love children he didn't have to, the friend who answered the phone when everything fell apart, or the husband or partner who quietly carries more than he ever says.
Sometimes we don't realise what someone's presence has cost them. The sacrifices they've made, the worries they've carried quietly, the times they've put their own needs aside, or the things they've done behind the scenes that nobody applauded.
Maybe Father's Day is simply an opportunity to notice the things we don't always say thank you for.
For the men who wish Father's Day looked different
I also don't want to talk about Father's Day without making room for the men who find this day difficult. The man who desperately wants to hear someone call him Dad. The father grieving a child who should still be here. The dad who doesn't have the relationship with his children he hoped he would. The man watching everyone else celebrate something he has quietly longed for. The man missing his own father.
There are also people scrolling past Father's Day posts while carrying memories of a dad who hurt them rather than protected them, and people trying to work out how to hold gratitude, disappointment, love and hurt all at once.
There isn't a correct way to feel about this day.
You can celebrate and grieve. You can feel grateful and disappointed at the same time. You can love someone while acknowledging the places where you've been hurt. You can choose to honour somebody entirely different, and you can let Father's Day pass quietly if that's what you need.
There is room for your story too.
Maybe Father's Day is simply about saying, "I see you"
When I created the Morro & Co Men's Collection, I wanted it to feel different. Not because men need another thing, but because I think sometimes they need the words.
Words that say, I see you. I appreciate you. What you bring to my life matters. Thank you for choosing to be here.
That's why every fragrance in the Men's Collection is paired with an affirmation. Whether it's a candle burning at the end of a long day, a room spray used before heading out the door, or an affirmation card sitting somewhere he'll see it, the fragrance is only part of the gift. The words are what I hope stay with him.
Because maybe the best Father's Day gifts aren't really about the gift at all. They're about what we're trying to say with it.
Thank you for standing beside me. Thank you for celebrating with me. Thank you for holding space for me when life hurts. Thank you for the strength you've lent me when I didn't have enough of my own. Thank you for everything you've carried that I probably never even knew about.
And most of all, thank you that, out of all the places you could choose to be, you continue to choose to be part of my life.
I see you. I appreciate you. And my life is better because you're in it.
This Father's Day, celebrate the men who matter
Father's Day doesn't have to belong only to one kind of family or one kind of relationship. It can belong to dads and grandfathers, stepdads and fathers who are deeply missed, men still hoping they'll one day become dads, and the uncles, brothers, coaches, teachers, mentors and friends who have stood in the gap.
It can be a day to celebrate the men who have loved us, challenged us, protected us, encouraged us and stood beside us through the ordinary and difficult moments of life.
And if you're lucky enough to have one of those men in your world, perhaps this Father's Day is simply an opportunity to tell him something we don't always say often enough.